I have been journaling off and on for some time now, years even. I love to write. I’ve started books and write poetry, but technology started to bog me down. I am not sure if it was the avoidance from dealing with the emotional trauma of cancer that was left behind but it I noticed that I would turn to my phone to ease whatever feelings I was having, or boredom. I would scroll and scroll or play games and that caused me to not stay in the present. I found Facebook was getting extremely aggravating to me with all the hate and negative that’s on there and it was affecting me where anytime I went online, I was getting frustrated and triggered. I almost deleted but I wanted to stay in touch with my family who live far away, so instead I deleted like 300 people because I couldn’t handle it anymore. I still use Facebook, but I have noticed I’m not on it very much or only a second and I turn it off as soon as I see something that’s not serving my highest good.
I went through phases on healing over the last year. Self-actualizations that I did have mild post traumatic stress, I’ve struggled with survivors’ guilt and sometimes these things still pop up for me. So, for example,
Towards the end of 2019 I watched the movie the dirt, the Motley Crue movie and the scene where Vince’s daughter dies from cancer sent me into a spiral, it was like a punch to the gut. Cancer stories, especially about children and them passing make me cry. I think in the past I knew that his daughter did pass from cancer, but I had forgot so when I watched the movie, I was caught off guard. I started crying uncontrollably, hyper ventilating. I tried to calm myself down and breathe but I couldn’t do it and it was until my sister called that I was able to become calm. I had survivors’ guilt even for that and it happened when I was only a child. I especially struggle with children and watching and seeing them suffer and pass from cancer and I think these are the times when I ask why, why I am alive, and these poor children aren’t. Its something I really had to push through and understand thoroughly that everything happens for a reason and there is more work for me to do here.
I was literally given weeks to live even with treatment. I knew it was a possibility that I might not make it, but I pushed those feelings away and didn’t really feel them. I knew after this moment of the panic attack that I needed to accept what happened, acknowledge all the feelings, and set them free so I could move forward. This still pops up, but I can manage the feelings a lot quicker now.
I love to write poetry about how I was feeling especially when I was having tough feelings and I didn’t know how to articulate myself well enough and it was a good release. When I was having issues with Jaden’s dad because we were having communication breakdowns, I would write what I needed to say to him, sometimes it would be a letter sometimes just what I was feeling in my journal and I was able to let my emotions out on the page, so when we seen each other again and discussed the situation further I would be able to articulate myself on the facts with out the highs of the emotions, and we always work it out easily in the end.
I’ve learned that journaling is amazing for many reasons and Journaling daily is a powerful habit you can acquire, and some of the reasons why is,
Journaling helps with your creative potential.
You can be free when you write, no judgement, just you, a pen, and some paper. Part of the reason I love to write is because I never have to show anyone if I don’t want to and I can write anything I want.
Journaling increases Gratitude.
I’ve been divinely downloaded a new way of journaling that I will share with you all soon but I have also been prompted to complete and experience it fist, but in this process I practice gratitude for all the experiences of the day whether they are positive or not.
Gratitude with journaling has been proven to help you overcome several psychological challenges. Gratitude makes you,
- Makes other people like you, because well you aren’t being a miserable human being
- It can boost your career
- Strengthens your emotions
- Develops your personality
- Makes you more optimistic
- Can reduce materialism because you are grateful for what you have and not always trying to keep up with the jones’s
- It will increase spirituality
- Reduces self-centeredness
- Increase self esteem
- Improve your sleep because you aren’t as stressed
- It can even help keep you away from the doctor by strengthening physiological functioning.
- And it will help strengthen your marriage and friendships.
The List really just goes on.
Journaling helps manifest your goals.
Writing your intentions and re writing them over and over connects them to your sub conscious mind and in time they will become your reality. Like attracts like, and everything is energy, so the energy you put out and what your constantly think about becomes your reality.
Journaling helps with clarity
When you write your exact feelings, the truth of it, you will quickly start to see patterns and habits that you can work on removing the ones that no longer serve your highest good and making way for the positivity.
Journaling clears your emotions
Studies show that journaling reduces stress by reducing chaos in your life, it also helps provide you better focus
More stability gives you a deeper level of learning, order, action and release. You can release any pent-up thoughts and emotions. It creates empowerment, and you can detach and let go of the past and you can allow yourself to re-experience past events with the mind you have today.
Journaling Gives you a Voice
When journaling you find your voice and you stop being so afraid to feel what you feel. You get to look back at where you were and see where you are now, showing you the changes, you may not notice on your own.